Undesireable #1

I recently read that the Masters Degree is the new Bachelors Degree, that anything less won't make the cut. A lovely little factoid, isn't it? Something to mull over while you can't sleep after the stress and anxiety has kicked in.

I am a girl that has always sworn by my New York driver's license, that I will never leave the city, that I couldn't live outside of the five boroughs. And yet I have found that I am now in a desperate need for a change of pace. I need a break. If I could, I would just pack my bags and move back to Europe - live for a while in a completely different place, get my feet wet again.

I have never seriously considered doing something other than writing since I started college. Not ever. Not in a million years. And now that I am out of school, now that I am ready to put my degree to work, the only thing that I can think to do is anything but. I am now kicking myself for not being practical, for not getting that degree in International Affairs or Politics. Maybe then I'd have a job doing something that matters. Maybe then I would be making a difference. Maybe then I would be changing someone's life.

Maybe I'm just losing it.

E

I Hate Vacations

No, I do. I really, truly do. They tease you with their fancy hotels and expensive champagne, and then - BAM! One week later you are sitting on a cross-country red-eye filled with annoying kids and reruns of Lock Up Raw. You've guessed it! I've just come home from an amazing (all expenses paid!!) trip to California, only to be stabbed by the cold knife of reality.

Now that I am back in New York, I am only reminded of the stressors that I have to face: the heat wave, contest deadlines, bills, and my never-ending job search. Meanwhile, I am doing all of this with jet lag. Gone, are my blissful memories of walking along the cost of Sausalito and sipping champagne cocktails at The Fairmont; all that remains are my unpacked bags and the awkward tan lines on my chest.

The oddity of it all comes from the fact that - despite working on a deadline - I was never stressed on my trip, not once. I never thought about the jobs I should be applying for or the draft of the script that I need to edit. I only focused on myself. And it was amazing. Is there a way to take that type of peace with you when you leave? Because I sure as hell want to.


E

Leaving on a Jet Plane

A Writer-Friend of mine recently pointed out the fact that I never stay in one place for very long, that I am always traveling and moving, changing things up and looking for a new start. However, the reality of this didn't really set in with me until today.

Being unemployed has given me the gift of travel. In a way, I am living the New Yorker's dream: I spend my waking days in the city and my weekends on various trips out to the "country" - as one friend put it. I have been back in Brooklyn for three hours after going down to Virginia to surprise my dad for Father's Day and am already re-packing my bags for a woodsy camping adventure at Hollywood Club up in the Adirondacks. Three weeks after that, I am jetting off to San Francisco and Napa for a week, then heading back to Virginia with some friends, and then possibly spending a few days in the Poconos.

But is all of this for the best?

I am, without a doubt, having a blast on all of my trips, whether it's going to the races or to a party in Rhode Island, but I am then - in turn - spending a considerable amount of time away from the work place. I am writing less, applying for jobs less, looking for apartments less. Is a balance of all of this possible, the reality and the play?

-E

Maybe California Ain't So Bad...

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/05/us/05prop.html

"SAN FRANCISCO — Saying that it discriminates against gay men and women, a federal judge in San Francisco struck down California’s voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage on Wednesday, handing supporters of such unions at least a temporary victory in a legal battle that seems all but certain to be settled by theSupreme Court."


I must say, hearing this restores a little bit of my faith in this country. Hopefully one day in my lifetime, there will be full legal rights for everyone.

-E