Undesireable #1

I recently read that the Masters Degree is the new Bachelors Degree, that anything less won't make the cut. A lovely little factoid, isn't it? Something to mull over while you can't sleep after the stress and anxiety has kicked in.

I am a girl that has always sworn by my New York driver's license, that I will never leave the city, that I couldn't live outside of the five boroughs. And yet I have found that I am now in a desperate need for a change of pace. I need a break. If I could, I would just pack my bags and move back to Europe - live for a while in a completely different place, get my feet wet again.

I have never seriously considered doing something other than writing since I started college. Not ever. Not in a million years. And now that I am out of school, now that I am ready to put my degree to work, the only thing that I can think to do is anything but. I am now kicking myself for not being practical, for not getting that degree in International Affairs or Politics. Maybe then I'd have a job doing something that matters. Maybe then I would be making a difference. Maybe then I would be changing someone's life.

Maybe I'm just losing it.

E

I Hate Vacations

No, I do. I really, truly do. They tease you with their fancy hotels and expensive champagne, and then - BAM! One week later you are sitting on a cross-country red-eye filled with annoying kids and reruns of Lock Up Raw. You've guessed it! I've just come home from an amazing (all expenses paid!!) trip to California, only to be stabbed by the cold knife of reality.

Now that I am back in New York, I am only reminded of the stressors that I have to face: the heat wave, contest deadlines, bills, and my never-ending job search. Meanwhile, I am doing all of this with jet lag. Gone, are my blissful memories of walking along the cost of Sausalito and sipping champagne cocktails at The Fairmont; all that remains are my unpacked bags and the awkward tan lines on my chest.

The oddity of it all comes from the fact that - despite working on a deadline - I was never stressed on my trip, not once. I never thought about the jobs I should be applying for or the draft of the script that I need to edit. I only focused on myself. And it was amazing. Is there a way to take that type of peace with you when you leave? Because I sure as hell want to.


E

Now that's what I call awesome!

A friend of mine from college is working for a new start up literary magazine and has asked me to contribute a piece for their launch issue coming out this month. Awesome, right? And the best part? They are actually paying their writers! Now, I know that money isn't everything and I know that I would have written the piece for nothing, but there is something about getting paid for your art that feels pretty damn good.

Ah, the (occasional) joys of being a freelancer!

E

Leaving on a Jet Plane

A Writer-Friend of mine recently pointed out the fact that I never stay in one place for very long, that I am always traveling and moving, changing things up and looking for a new start. However, the reality of this didn't really set in with me until today.

Being unemployed has given me the gift of travel. In a way, I am living the New Yorker's dream: I spend my waking days in the city and my weekends on various trips out to the "country" - as one friend put it. I have been back in Brooklyn for three hours after going down to Virginia to surprise my dad for Father's Day and am already re-packing my bags for a woodsy camping adventure at Hollywood Club up in the Adirondacks. Three weeks after that, I am jetting off to San Francisco and Napa for a week, then heading back to Virginia with some friends, and then possibly spending a few days in the Poconos.

But is all of this for the best?

I am, without a doubt, having a blast on all of my trips, whether it's going to the races or to a party in Rhode Island, but I am then - in turn - spending a considerable amount of time away from the work place. I am writing less, applying for jobs less, looking for apartments less. Is a balance of all of this possible, the reality and the play?

-E

A New Habit: Entertainment

Today, I am officially acknowledging one of the benefits of unemployment: entertainment.

I know, I can sense the jealousy in the air! I, Em, finally have the opportunity to explore all types of entertainment that I never had time to enjoy before. I seem to have found this new liberty in being able to explore my Netflix queue and the deep realms of the internet.

This all started to dawn on me when I found my self perched on my couch at 3:30am watching a 90's indie flick called Lovelife. It's an ensemble romantic drama about the tangled lives of 20-something graduate students and professors. It all ends up being a semi-love-line of desires that went a little something like this:

Token Guy<>Shy Girl<Hot Guy<>Hot British Chick<>Lit Prof<>Bartender>TV Writing Prof

< one sided love

<> relationship

<> affair

So, the focus fell on the Shy Girl's love for her Hot Guy best friend and all of the drama that plays out around unrequited love and what happens after you finally say those three words.  I went into the movie expecting to zone out in some lame chick flick and found myself throughly enjoying the writing and the semi-predictable plot. It was more mature than a rom-com, but it was all about love and the human dynamic. I was hooked.

This venture into the realm of unseen movies had now led me on a long and curving road laced with comedies and dramas, teen movies and reality TV. I've endured everything from throw backs like Dude, Where's My Car and Sabrina the Teenage Witch (the movie) to countless episodes of Say Yes to the Dress and Mob Wives.

Currently, I'm telling myself that it is all research, that watching all of this will help better my writing. And maybe it will, one day. Maybe I will write a movie about the mob bust of 2011, who knows? All I do know is that, for now, I am loving every minute of it.

-E

The Job Crunch

So, to keep my sanity levels in check, I have decided that I must live under the assumption that I am the norm for young writers. And by norm, I mean unemployed.

Is there some sort of twisty trick to making this unfortunate reality go away? Just disappear? Because currently I am sitting in an apartment that I can barely afford trying to figure out a way to make my job application - out of all of the thousands that these companies are getting - seem worth while. I am one VERY small fish in one VERY large pond.

And by fish I mean amoeba. And by pond I mean ocean.

On one hand, this lets me live a great New York life. I go out of town almost every weekend and I have plenty of time to write for my self. I get to set my own schedule and act as my own boss. And - for the first time - I can get a tan AND work at the same time.

But there comes a point when none of this pays, when my ConEd bill comes and I have to figure out how to dish out the extra cash to support my AC habit. What then?

-E

Day 3: A New Project!

Being on my third day in Unemployment-Land, I have officially started work on a new writing project. For the past few weeks I have been doing little ditty writing exercises here and there to clear my mind from my last screenplay, but now I am finally ready.

The plan: write an impossibly low-budget, Indie script set in New York. And I mean LOW budget. Nothing extraneous. Nada. Something very prosaic, where it's all about the people. Stripped to the bare bones of human interaction. I've never written with production in mind, so it'll be a different vantage point. I want it to be accessible to low-budget directors and producers, young artists like me looking to make a break.

I love the last two scripts that I've written, but they are by no means "low budget" - they involve wars and nuclear power plants, armies and European travels. This will not be that.

The Goal: Work long enough and hard enough to have a solid draft finished by July 1. 30 days and change for 120 pages ... oy!

I'm taking up the life of a real freelancer, writing from 9am-5pm, with only a break for lunch and errands half way through. I will be a slave to my computer, regardless of the bright sunny weather gloating me from outside my window (such as the case right now).

This is now my job, so stay tuned...

-E